Undocumented Immigrants Apply For Driver's Licenses At Chicago DMV
(Photo by Scott Olson/Getty Images)

Here I am sitting and waiting for who knows how long at the Department of Motor Vehicles. I hope I have everything they need. Otherwise I will be here another day or so.

Appointments are recommended but they take them between 7 AM and 830 AM when I’m on the air.

I’m number 96 and its 10:28 AM. I haven’t heard any numbers called as of yet.

So I guess I’m in driver’s license purgatory. Unknown how long it will be before the DMV gods smile on me.

As you would guess there are a lot of people here. There were probably more empty seats at Game 7 of the World Series.

Job Security

I’m sure state employees have a pretty good benefit package. But the monotony of the job has to take its toll over time.

I’m listening to the examiner recite the same verbiage over and over again. I wonder if these folks ever dream about the DMV?

I can picture a never-ending line of people disappearing off into the horizon like cattle waiting for the slaughter.

That might be considered a nightmare in some circles.

Office Parties

I wonder what the conversation would be like at DMV Christmas Parties. Do they all compare notes on who’s the oldest person they waited on? The most clueless?

I wonder if I would rise to the level of party conversation.

Complaints about the computer system or the regulations are probably a hot topic. I’m sure there’s a mountain of totally useless paperwork involved at the end of the day.

Take A Number

I’d like to smack the guy who came up with the take a number system. You know that there has to be at least 50 people ahead of you. A couple of birthdays might pass before your number is called.

Disneyland came up with the right idea. Those back and forth lines so at least you can see the ride while you wait.

They just called number 85 and I’m number 96. That’s after sitting here for almost an hour with no numbers being called.

Some Final Thoughts

I wonder if I’ll have to spend the night here? I don’t see any sleeping accommodations. Surely the state could spring for a sleeping bag or two.

After all I am a taxpayer.

Hurry up and wait I guess is the order of the day. If you don’t hear from me again you’ll have to assume that I’m caught between two competing universes.

That of a person’s normal life and that of government life. Never the twain shall meet.

I guess my only option is to look as needy as possible and perhaps they’ll take pity on me. I did wear my Vietnam Vet hat to see if that might score some points but so far all looks my way are stoic.

I wonder if there’s a waiting record? Could I make the Guinness Book of World Records?

Lunches are starting so they’re going to all take their lunch over the next two hours. So they suggested that we not wait since they will be short handed.

I’m not falling for that story. I’m staying put.

This will make a good story if it happens sometime this month.

Out the door with a new license by 12:30 PM after only two hours.

It did help that#90, #91 #93, #94, and #95 must have bailed and were not there when those numbers were called.

My best advice — select the day you want to go down there and make an appointment online beforehand.

You’ll be glad you did.

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