How Long Before You Get Your Montana Card?
The only reason I wasn’t born in Montana is because my parents lived somewhere else at the time.
Not sure either of them had ever been anywhere close to Montana. I kept telling Dad, “Go North Young Man.” He never listened.
In 1993 the wife and I packed up and set out to live our dreams in Montana. We never looked back. We feel sorry for others unfortunate enough not to live here.
I Need A Montana Card
So how long do you have to live here before you're a naturalized Montanan?
I want to be official. Put a “Native — Sort of” bumper sticker on my car. Is there a test I can take? Some oath?
Even after 20 plus years of giving my all to Montana insiders still make me feel somewhat ostracized.
I need the secret handshake so I can sit on the downtown bench and make fun of tourists — rather than feel like one.
Yokel Not Local
My driver’s license is Montana. My address is Montana. My dog’s name is Montana or maybe Butte. I forget.
I’ve even been to Butte for God’s Sake. That should count for something.
I meet people on the street and they are always cordial and greet me with a big smile and a “howdy partner.”
Yet I silently wonder after we’ve passed each other if they share, “You know, he’s not local.”
Some Final Thoughts
We need a date — A time frame that makes you an official Montanan. It shouldn’t be a short amount of time but also not unreasonably long.
There might be some milestones you have to achieve like surviving a two-foot snowfall or -30 below temperatures.
Attending a certain amount of Sweet Pea’s or Christmas Strolls. Eating a Bison burger at least once a year.
Much like merit badges in the scouts.
I really don’t think that’s too much to ask. I think I’ve paid my dues. I’ve been a pretty vocal proponent of Montana.
It’s way past time to make me official.
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