If you don’t know what a Unicorn Frappuccino is then you’re probably not a Starbucks regular.

If you’ve ever worked in a restaurant or fast food operation you know that time is money. Literally.

Take too much time to make that burger and the company loses money. If people have to wait too long in the drive-thru line then the owner will call the employee on the carpet to find out why.

So What Does This Have To Do With The Unicorn Frappuccino?

Sometimes ownership just doesn’t think things through. Most drinks at coffee shops encourage making two drinks at a time to reduce wait time.

You should not have a long wait for your double Mocha Latté Grandee with extra cheese. All items for sale should fall within the speed limits of the business model.

The Unicorn Frappuccino fails this test. Here’s why.

According to Starbuck baristas it takes about 70 seconds to make a Unicorn Frappuccino and the procedure won’t allow making more than one at a time.

Seventy seconds to make this concoction is longer than the drive-thru wait time Starbucks ownership sees as profitable.

Having people wait more than 70 seconds in the drive-thru causes those veins in ownership's foreheads to pop out.

When making three of these delicious drinks, that wait time increases to about 4 minutes plus the wait time for anyone whose order is ahead of you.

Combine drive-thru and counter wait time and the result is an intolerable wait time for someone addicted to caffeine.

The result is customer complaints to the people behind the counter not to ownership for creating a drink that’s contrary to the speed you promise your customers in the first place.

Thankfully for the baristas this was a limited time drink. Now they only have to be subjected to customer complaints for about a month after it’s gone. And may never come back.

Some Final Thoughts

Any business that promises to serve the public in a timely manner is open to scrutiny when they violate that promise.

It’s called fast food for a reason. A four-minute wait for three drinks may not sound fast to every customer. To some it’s probably no big deal and the wait maybe be worth it.

But as we all know it’s a fast forward world we live in. Immediate gratification is just way too slow by some customer standards.

I have nothing against Starbucks. I just refuse to pay more than I pay for a water bill for a cup of coffee.

My home brew tastes just great. And if I need any extras I think I can deal with that more economically than Starbucks can.

Twenty-five bucks a week for a morning cup of coffee is a house payment at the end of a year. I was born in the morning but it wasn’t yesterday morning.

You can keep the Unicorn — I’ll survive.

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