Second Guessing Never Works

SYDNEY, AUSTRALIA - OCTOBER 17: Singer and former Savage Garden frontman Darren Hayes performs on stage at the first Sydney show of his 'Time Machine' tour at the State Theatre on October 17, 2007 in Sydney, Australia. His first solo national tour in more than three years, the tour is in support of his third album 'This Delicate Thing We've Made'. (Photo by Gaye Gerard/Getty Images)

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“What if…?” We’ve all wondered how our lives would be different if we had made better or different decisions in our past.

Looking back over my somewhat checkered past there are some things I wish I had done differently. But the question I have to ask myself is, “Would I go back and change things knowing that the life I have now would be gone.”

I don’t think you can go back in time and reverse some bad decisions and expect your life to remain as it is just because you made a few smarter decisions.

What Would You Change?

Let’s suppose I have a magic wand and could make your life just the way you want it. Would you want me to do it? What would you change?

Life partner? Job? Education? Friends? Relationships? Criminal Record? Income? Not so easy when you have to pin down which of life’s complications you are ready to alter. Especially since they are all so intertwined.

In my own experience I would not change a thing. For whatever reason, in spite of the years of self-sabotage I inflicted on myself, my life has turned out pretty well.

Why Second Guess?

In many cases we are our own worst enemy. If we get extra money from somewhere, while we know we should save it, — we don’t. We’ll blow it on some materials thing to make us feel better immediately.

Then we’ll spend the next few months kicking ourselves for our poor decision-making. So what does that kicking yourself accomplish? Nothing.

It’s nothing more than a learning experience. You might make a wiser decision if you find yourself in the same or similar situation next time. But, probably not. Old habits die hard.

Some Final Thoughts

There are several routes I can take to get to the radio station. I don’t obsess about the shortest or quickest way to get there. The object is to get there.

The same thinking is true in life. You are the sum of your decisions. Good decisions usually mean good outcomes. Bad decisions not so much.

But the two combined define who you are and the direction you are going.

It’s not thinking about where you were. It’s where you are now that matters.

If I meet someone on the street I usually ask, “How are you?” Not, “How were you?” Where are you going today??