NEW YORK, NY - FEBRUARY 20: A general view of atmosphere at a party hosted by Jack Daniels and New York Magazine celebrating Jack Daniels' Sinatra Select at By Robert James Boutique on February 20, 2014 in New York City. (Photo by Stephen Lovekin/Getty Images for New York Magazine)

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Alcohol is rarely one of my main food groups. But millions imbibe each day all around the world. As a result of this action there is always groups of people that think that various types of restrictions will make the world a better place. No question that their hearts are in the right place; but their brains sometimes seem to be elsewhere.

Fun Facts About Booze

  • You might recall the Johnstown Flood of 1936 from your history classes in school. Back then, Pennsylvania needed to rebuild the town so they put a tax on liquor sales. Johnstown is long since rebuilt but the tax, started 78 years ago, that produces $160 million each year, still remains.
  • The Kansas Attorney General says no booze if you are “over” Kansas — as in a plane. He said, “Kansas goes all the way up and all the way down.” So no JB over KC.
  • Vikings really knew how to party. They used the skulls of their vanquished enemies as drinking glasses. I guess that would mean “tops up?”
  • If someone spit in your booze would you drink it? Then you might want to pass on Chicha, a Central and South American beverage. People chew grain and spit it into vats using the saliva enzymes to convert the starch to sugar for fermentation. Here’s spittin’ at you kid.
  • You pay $519,750 for a 1787 vintage wine owned by Thomas Jefferson then accidently knock it off on the floor breaking it. It’s the same wine but just not the same value in a “Two Buck Chuck” bottle.
  • America is obsessed with political correctness. US soldiers stationed in Bosnia were the only soldiers not allowed to drink alcohol. Soldiers from all other countries could toss back as many as they liked. We are so righteous.
  • Culver City, California children are lucky to have the protection of their local school board. “Little Red Riding Hood” is off the recommended reading list at last. Why? Because “Red” had a bottle of bubbly in the basket of goodies she brought to Grandma.
  • No wonder their test scores are better. High school cafeterias in Europe are happy to serve booze to students who choose to drink. No need for Ritalin there.
  • European McDonald’s often serve booze with their “Big Mac’s.” Otherwise many adults would not bring their kids in for their “Happy Meals.” Are there “free refills” I wonder?
  • The strictest age laws for drinking in Western civilization belong to the good ole’ USA.
  • But feel free to drink up if you’re driving in Uruguay. Being intoxicated is a perfectly legal excuse for having an accident behind the wheel. “Please test me again officer I’m sure I’m over the limit.”

Some Final Thoughts

Reading some of the above facts makes me wonder how some people are allowed to leave their homes without some form of adult supervision. Perhaps they had a little too much of the stuff they are trying to protect us from.

Just give me a cold beer, a hot dog and a good baseball game and I’m a happy camper. I think I can accomplish that without the help of “do-gooder” lawmakers. And put “Little Red Riding Hood” back on the recommended reading list.

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