I wasn't born in Montana. Unlike some people who were born in this great state by ACCIDENT. I loaded up my car, and my cat, and drove here. Why? Because California was driving me crazy. Too many laws and rules, I didn't feel free anymore.

My car was vandalized because I had a "Trump for President" bumper sticker. I was told a camera took a picture of my car and I owed $4,000 to the state because I didn't pay a fine or appear in a California court. When I complained that I didn't know a computer sent me a ticket in the mail, I was told "sorry," but I must pay $4,000 and my licence was suspended.

My values were't California values.They are Montana values.

While most people accept me, there are a few who still say I am NOT a Montanan because I was born in New York City. They should blame my mother, not me.

I give up! What to I have to do to become a Montanan? Get a blood transfusion?

If someone from China marries someone from the United States they become an American citizen. Do I need to marry a person who was born in Montana?

Maybe I'll fight someone in a ring to prove myself. Do I have to wait for an older Montanan to die and then take their place? Is there a waiting list?

I am more Montanan than a whole lot of Montanans. It is just not fair.

What will it take? I promise never to go to California again. I promise to bad mouth California every chance I get. I am even working on a Montana accent, and I am willing to ride a horse, I won't even complain about how the animal smells.

I am open to suggestion: HELP!

dominick@kmmsam.com Please email me. What do I have to do?