Oregon Militia: Things We Forgot For The Long Haul

As of now you're at least aware that an armed group of older boys are playing army in the woods of eastern central Oregon, in a protest that only exists in their warped, fractured minds. They say they are in it for the long haul, but power is about to be cut and they forgot a few items to last as long as they have promised. Members of this group have resorted to begging online, via social media, for some basic items, including, and I quote: "snacks, winter camo, socks, energy drinks (12-hour, not five-hour - O.K. I added the time frame of energy drinks because, 12-hour makes sense as it's going to be a long haul) and anything you think will help."

So I offer this short list of 10 items to Ammon Bundy and his band of soon-to-be non-merry man-childs, and to any other militia groups, to have your next misadventure be a far more enjoyable experience:

1- Supply of Heirloom Seeds: Need them veggies in the Spring

2- The Bible: Stealing breaks one commandment and coveting breaks another. Don't covet or steal land or buildings.

3- An Elementary School History Teacher: To explain, at your grade level, the Constitution.

4- ANY Form of Opposition: There are no local, state or federal officials on site as of this writing. Who are you speaking truth to, when nobody is there?

5- Have the Support of the Local Community: You've been asked to go home, since this thing started.

6- A Plastic Gun: Walking around all day with an AR-15 & a fully loaded 50-shot clip will make you tired. Especially when no law enforcement officers are around.

7- Keurig Coffee Maker Doudas: They have the coffee maker, but no doudas. Have you ever tried making coffee in a Keurig without a douda?

8- Bring Binoculars: When taking over a wildlife area, binoculars make it easier to see the beautiful birds.

9- Common Sense: If you want to make a point, there are other ways to do so. Rather than showing up where you're not wanted and knowing nobody cares that you're there.

10- Lastly, Batteries and Generators: Don't take a federal building and not expect them to cut the power at some point. Honestly, not one militia member thought of this? Yet you expect me, with your proven lack of foresight to pick up arms against my government and follow a bunch of dimwitted, army wannabees - when I spent more time in preparation to backpack around the world?

The militia movement will only crawl back under the slime from whence it came when people speak out against their perversion of patriotism.