No More Personal Responsibility For Me

Why should I continue to take personal responsibility for my actions when no one else apparently is?

Hillary Clinton really showed me the light. She lost the election and everyone but her is at fault.

This is genius.

I’m really looking forward to sleeping better having the immense weight of personal responsibility lifted off my sizeable shoulders.

Why Did I Wait So Long?

Why didn’t I think of this sooner? From now on nothing is my fault. I now have the ultimate get out of jail free card.

From this day forward someone, or something else, gets the blame. It’s like “The Devil Made Me Do It” on steroids.

If I fail at something it’s my upbringing, or lack of quality education, discrimination, income inequality, or climate change.

These are all defense mechanisms I can bring out at a moments notice to quell any attack against me.

The opposition will be reduced to a quivering mass of Jello while I’m out saving whales.

And, if necessary, I have racist, bigot and any number of …phobes in reserve that will ostracize you from polite society.

Is that what you really want? Then hit me with your best shot.

I Need A Group

The only thing I’m lacking is a Bernie Sanders type group that will make me sympathetic to the unwashed masses.

Something that will demonstrate how put upon I am by those above me. How mistreated I’ve been by all those Wall Street fat cats to whom success came so easily.

However, all the good group names seem to be taken. Black Lives Matter, La Raza, Hands Up — Don’t Shoot, Occupy Wall Street, Move On, NARAL, the ACLU.

The deck really is stacked against me.

Some Final Thoughts

This may be harder than I thought. It’s going to take more than wearing my pants below my knees to reach my goal of being guilt free. I think some people would see that as self-serving. Not to mention uncomfortable.

It’s hard to elicit sympathy from people if you don’t fall into one of the protected discriminatory groups.

I have a lot working against me.

I guess this whole responsibility deal is going to have to require some additional study to make it work. But it’s still not my fault.

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