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If You Could Go Anywhere In The World …

The Vatican Prepares For The Election Of The Next Pope
(Photo by Franco Origlia/Getty Images)

If you could go anywhere in the world where would you go? Europe, Asia, Africa, South America, Middle East or maybe the Nordic countries?

North Pole, South Pole?

Would you take the guided tour or backpack it off the beaten path? Would you go looking for your ancestors or look for the sites of historical significance.

Why Travel?

In the movie “Good Will Hunting” Robin Williams tells Matt Damon that he can’t learn anything from Matt that’s not in a book. But I’ll bet you can’t tell me what it smells like in the Sistine Chapel. You’ve never actually stood there and looked up at that beautiful ceiling; seen that.”

My question is — if I’ve seen it in a book or documentary do I really have to stand there in person and smell it to be better in some way?

Is the trade off of thousands of dollars in plane fares, cabs, and/or tour buses, worth it so I can say I’ve been there and seen it?

Do I have to see Tom Cruise in person for Vanilla Sky to have some additionally profound meaning?

I’ve been to Vietnam, Japan, and Okinawa Nothing was particularly great about any of them — Especially that little Vietnam trip.

I guess I’m some sort of enigma when it comes to traveling abroad. I really have no interest at all in seeing the world in person.

To me the whole thing would be boring, tiring, and probably hard on my digestive system.

Black Sox and Sandals?

Think about it. Do I really want to be sharing drinks around a swimming pool on a cruise ship with two people from Iowa and have a competition about whose grand kids are the most successful or who’s got the worst doctor?

Is the fashion statement of black knee socks and sandals accompanied by the I’m With Stupid T-Shirt and the John Deere hat a trip enhancement?

I did not see that particular feature in the brochure.

Cruise ships, double-decker buses, warm beer, and driving on the wrong side of the road are deterrents for me, not enticements to hit the open road.

I’d rather see a green blackjack table in Vegas than the green rolling hills of Ireland. Don’t mention that to my wife — I think she’d like Ireland.

Some Final Thoughts

I’ve swam in the Atlantic and Pacific, been to both Disneyland’s, I’ve lived in the state where the Alamo is located.

So you might say I have been around.

And of course there’s the little known fact that despite living only 90 short miles away for 25 years — I have yet to visit Yellowstone Park.

But I have seen pictures. It doesn’t look a whole lot different than Bozeman. Besides it’s in Wyoming — most of it anyway.

I’d have to travel to another state to visit. Just thinking about it makes me tired. Sorry United — when you make an airplane seat as comfortable as my recliner maybe I’ll think about hitting the friendly skies. Until then — I wonder what’s on the travel channel?

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