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I Have Way Too Much Time on My Hands

Flickr Photo by Ricardo Wang

For those of you who don’t know, I officially retired working for other people in 2009. One of the perks of that decision is having more time to ponder the mysteries of life and the universe.

However, it’s also sort of a curse because I find myself wondering about a lot of things that are unexplainable or drive me crazy trying to understand why some people think the way they do. As the above picture illustrates.

Answers To Things That Have No Answers

I think the majority of people want a clean planet. Clean air, clean water, and a place where every species has the best chance of survival. I was imagining a radical environmentalist strolling through the woods, communing with nature, when suddenly it happens. Every environmentalist’s nightmare — they come upon an endangered species eating an endangered plant. What do you do?

Do You Know Your Rights?

The Bozeman Police Reports are the things of legend. Whole books have been written on all the weird things that happen in our quiet little hamlet. Cow tipping, naked people running around town at all hours, I would guess Bozeman’s finest have probably seen it all. Well maybe not.

I was wondering about some of the situations that might come up in “Cop Class” for new police recruits. We’ve all heard of Miranda Rights. They were named after an historic Supreme Court civil rights case involving one Ernesto Arturo Miranda.

Most of us could probably recite each of the rights the constitution afforded us from the weekly servings of police shows. Picture an instructor asking his charges this question, “If a mime is arrested, does he or she still have the right to remain silent?”

Confusion Crosses All Industries

  • Banks: When tellers ask you to enter your PIN number do they know they are asking you to enter your “Personal Identification Number – Number?” And what’s with chaining the pens to the counter?
  • Education: Why is the name for fear of long words Hippopotomonstrosesquippedaliophobia? Actually writing “fear of long words”would have been a lot shorter and much easier to say. Probably had a fear of phonetics too.
    • Innovation: I think it’s interesting that we put men on the moon before we thought to put wheels on luggage? But, we do have blankets with sleeves, and Ginsu knives, so I guess it all balances out.
    • Physics: If a truck is loaded with Helium, would it weigh less than when it was empty? Wouldn’t it get better gas mileage? Would the driver have that Wizard of Oz munchkin voice?
    • Transportation: I’m guessing there is a shortage of interstate highways in Hawaii. Does the I-70 end at the Pacific and then pick back up in Honolulu just in case someone wants to build a really long shovel ready bridge?
    • Construction: I’m wondering why they are called stairs inside the house and steps outside.

Some Final Thoughts

As you can see, my days are becoming very complex pondering these various conundrums.  We humans seem to be very complicated individuals with only one hard and fast rule. Nothing we do has to make sense — to us or anyone else.

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