Jorge Bergoglio, the 76-year-old archbishop of Buenos Aires, Argentina, has been elected as pope. He is the first Latin American to lead the Catholic Church. Bergoglio, who has taken the name Francis I, is also the first Jesuit priest to become pope.
Tuesday evening, a plume of black smoke rose out of the Sistine Chapel at the Vatican, signifying that the first round of balloting to elect a new pope had passed without any nominee receiving the necessary two-thirds majority.
The Saudi Arabian government might need to consider contacting Steven Seagal, as a new report indicates that due to a shortage of swordsmen with just the right chops, leaders may soon be forced to have criminals executed by firing squad as opposed to the traditional beheading.
In stunning news, Pope Benedict XVI announced Monday morning from the Vatican that he will resign his position as head of the Catholic Church, effective on February 28. This has already set off a flurry of speculation, largely because no pope has voluntarily done so since the year 1415. The news is s…