Bozeman, Whatever Makes You Happy, I Am There For You

When I was planning my move to Bozeman, I was not coming alone. In Sacramento, I was in a pretty serious relationship. I had been out of radio for almost a year, and I was trying to figure out what I wanted next.

My Dad always told me, "Say what you mean and mean what you say." It was one of those expressions people like to say. I was very honest in my relationship. I am a radio guy, and I want to do radio even if that means moving from Sacramento.

"Whatever makes you happy, I am there for you." So, when someone tells you that and you talk about moving, wouldn't you think they would be there for you?

I am not going to be happy heading to another big station and working day to day hoping the ratings stay high so I am not going to get fired. I was most happy working in a smaller city where not only can I do a great morning show, but I can program the station. In media, we are always asking the question: Is it better to be a small fish in a big pond or a big fish in small pond?

I had done the big pond thing: New York City, Denver, Las Vegas. I wanted a small pond, a place to put down roots and just enjoy my relationship. I had never been in a relationship this long...over six months and we still liked each other.

So, in radio, before you get a job, there are a lot of things you have to go through. Interviews, samples of your past work and how you did in the ratings, background checks etc. After a year of nothing, I got a call from North Carolina. I flew to the station met the management.

How do you feel about moving to North Carolina?

"Whatever makes you happy I am there for you."

I didn't think North Carolina was a good fit. It didn't work out. I kind of wanted it, but when I began talking to AM 1450 in Bozeman I thought: I'm glad North Carolina didn't work out.

So weeks of talking to people at AM 1450 - interviews with executives and even more executives, I started doing research on Bozeman. It would be a good fit, I thought.

"How would you feel moving to Bozeman with me? I think I would really like the station?"

"Whatever makes you happy I am there for you."

Suddenly a MAJOR station from Boston calls. They are looking for a morning producer and a third host on their morning show. The money was very big, and I was told after the first year if things worked out I could be making double the second year.

It was a lot of money. I was interviewed and asked to listen to the morning show and tell them what I would do to make it better.

"Would you be willing to move to Boston if I got the radio job there?"

"Whatever makes you happy I am there for you."

The morning show in Boston was not that good. I remember I told them in a later interview the hosts seemed not to like each other. In four hours, only one worked for me.  The radio station executive told me he agreed, but the hosts on the show didn't respect him. So they wouldn't try his suggestions. He told me I would have to deal with some big egos.

I was surprised this executive would tell me something like that. He asked me to listen for another week and we'd compare notes. The show was on at 6 a.m. Eastern I was in California, so I was waking up at 3 a.m. to hear this show from Boston and then heading out for my regular job.

I like to share things in a relationship, but maybe I shouldn't have mentioned the salary Boston was talking about. The job will pay about five times what the Bozeman job does. But I don't think I would be happy there. Do you think I...

"Whatever makes you happy I am there for you."

So I am like the guy with no date to the prom, and suddenly, I have two dates. I have a manager who usually makes deals for me. What should I do? Well, I thought I will just be up front with both stations. I sent the emails from the Boston station to Bozeman and the Bozeman emails to Boston. I don't want to risk losing both jobs, so I made it clear whoever made the offer first. The first signed contract is the place I am going to take.

This affects both of us. Am I doing the right thing?

"Whatever makes you happy I am there for you."

In my heart, I wanted Bozeman. It would be a great lifestyle. I wanted out of the rat race. But the first company that sent a contract...

Remember "Mean what you say and say what you mean."

When I got the call from Bozeman, I was so happy. I started looking for a place to live. I found a nice two-bedroom. I called my family in New York City. This is where God wanted me to go.

I have great news, I am stopping the talks with Boston. I took the job in Bozeman. We're moving in a few weeks! Now, in a relationship, sometimes you kind of know what the other person is thinking.

Are you happy? I'm happy! If looks could kill.

"What kind of a f***ing moron would give up a chance to work in Boston for all that money and move to Montana?"

But you said, "Whatever makes you..."

"Yeah because I didn't think you would be such a fool to blow Boston off."

"I'm not blowing them off, they just have not made an offer yet. I can't tell AM 1450, 'Could you wait a month or two, and if I don't get a better deal I will take your offer?' I don't even want the job in Boston. That morning show is horrible. I would be buying a seat on the Titanic. Why did you lie to me and say it didn't matter, all you wanted is for me, for us, to be happy?"

"In a relationship that's what you say. I wanted to be supportive. That's what you do. But I am not going to sit here and watch you make a stupid mistake."

We talked and talked, I though everything would work out. I was renting a U-Haul, planning the trip, trying to find a place that accepted a pet. Sending deposits for things. I knew the three of us ( I am including the cat ) would love Bozeman.

But I also knew, if I left Sacramento with just my cat the new plan of me setting up everything, and a week or two later we would be together again in Bozeman wasn't going to happen. I guess the idea of not doing something just for money is hard for some people to understand.

We said goodbye, still friends. The 20-hour ride helped me clear my head.

It's been almost a month. I am making friends and enjoying AM 1450. Who needs a relationship? I have a cat and a morning radio show.